🥂 Champagne Room

“Wait… how the hell did *you* get in here?” Just kidding. Kind of. Welcome to the Nunya Champagne Room- where it is safe to put things in your mouth.

🥂 Welcome to the Champagne Room

You came in the back... like how all the best stories start.

This isn’t a discount code. It’s not a loyalty program. It’s a bread-soaked velvet rope for the real ones. You’ve supported our weird, whippy dreams from the start—and for that, you get:

✨ Early access to drops
🍞 First dibs on loaves, whipts & chaos
🙈 Zero extra perks. Just priority and profanity.

You're not special because you're better. You're special because you stuck around.

Becky? She’s still outside asking if we’re gluten-free.
You? You’re already halfway through a Cinnamon Sugar Whipt and regretting nothing.

 

👑 Madam Mable – The Original Sourdough

Mother dough. Head hoe. All rise.

Crusty, classic, and commanding respect with every slice. She raised the rest. They still rise for her.

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🫐 Berry Bad Influence

The kind of loaf that talks you into things.

Loaded with blueberries, plant-based cream cheese, and lemon zest. Tart, thicc, and a perfect match for Berry Naughty Whipt.

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🧀 Goud Girl Gone Bad

It melts. It misbehaves. It knows it’s better than you.

Rich gouda. Sweet caramelized onions. Golden crust. She pairs with Onyo’ Knees and takes no responsibility for what happens next.

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🍌 Banana Baby Momma

She keeps showing up unwrapped.

Bananas, melty chocolate chips, buttery toffee, and a maple-drizzled crust. Sticky, soft, and totally reckless. Loves getting wild with Cin & Sugar.

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🍑 Peach Please

She’s sweet. She’s soft. She’s absolutely over it.

Juicy peaches, toasted pecans, brown sugar, oatmeal, and plant-based cream cheese baked into a golden thiccc cobbler loaf. Peachy perfection with Berry Naughty.

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🍫 Mistress Mocha

Dark. Bold. Will ruin your relationship with white bread.

Double chocolate, espresso, and full-bodied flavor. Fierce alone. Even better when paired with Espress-Ohh.

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🥕 Carrot Bae

Your momma wouldn’t approve of this carrot cake.

Carrot juice, plump raisins, cinnamon sugar swirl, and soft sourdough attitude. Moist and naughty with a classic twist. Definitely not church-approved.

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Nunya Whipts

These spreads may look sweet, but they pack a punch. Whipped to perfection with bold flavors and zero manners. Every jar is a risk. A risk worth spreading.

🫐 Berry Naughty

Smooth. Smart. Still dangerous.

Blueberries, lemon, and zero guilt. She keeps it classy while getting wild on toast. It’s not a crime if she leaves you wanting more.

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🍓 Berry Legal

Sweet chaos in a jar.

Strawberries and trouble, whipped to misbehave. She doesn't spread evenly—and she doesn't care.

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🍯 Cin & Sugar

Warm, nostalgic... and a total liar.

This classic comfort combo hides a reckless streak. Great on toast. Better in questionable decisions.

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🧄 Onyo Knees

Balsamic Onion never felt so seductive.

Savory, bold, and unapologetically bossy. Best spread with confidence and a warning.

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☕ Espress-Ohh

Not safe for breakfast.

Dark roast drama with a smooth finish. Wakes you up—and possibly ruins you for regular coffee.

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🥃 Rummed & Reckless

Drips drama & Island Flavors like mango, banana, pineapple and of course a little actual rum.

Sticky, spicy, and just a little unhinged. A spread for pirates, poets, and post-brunch mistakes.

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