Champagne Room

Champagne Room Access

🚪 Welcome to the Champagne Room

This page is password protected. Kinda.

We’re not good with boundaries, but we try.


You get one shot to get this password right. If you blow it, someone dies from a cinnamon sugar overdose. Ha ha. Seriously. Kinda. Maybe.

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Certified Not Organic - We like flavor, not compost.
Gluten-Forward - Full of gluten and full of attitude.
Cruelty Optional - Only cruel to bad taste.
Locally Grown… Elsewhere - Grown somewhere. Maybe locally.
Ethically Questionable - No children harmed. Just our credit scores.
Not Approved by Anyone - We asked. They said no.
Certified Not Organic - We like flavor, not compost.
Gluten-Forward - Full of gluten and full of attitude.
Cruelty Optional - Only cruel to bad taste.
Locally Grown… Elsewhere - Grown somewhere. Maybe locally.
Ethically Questionable - No children harmed. Just our credit scores.
Not Approved by Anyone - We asked. They said no.
Certified Not Organic - We like flavor, not compost.
Gluten-Forward - Full of gluten and full of attitude.
Cruelty Optional - Only cruel to bad taste.
Locally Grown… Elsewhere - Grown somewhere. Maybe locally.
Ethically Questionable - No children harmed. Just our credit scores.
Not Approved by Anyone - We asked. They said no.
Certified Not Organic - We like flavor, not compost.
Gluten-Forward - Full of gluten and full of attitude.
Cruelty Optional - Only cruel to bad taste.
Locally Grown… Elsewhere - Grown somewhere. Maybe locally.
Ethically Questionable - No children harmed. Just our credit scores.
Not Approved by Anyone - We asked. They said no.